lahvn:

Is it just me or was this year like … Really fucking overwhelming? Like everything’s that’s happened to you this year has shaped you into a completely different person that you were at the beginning of this year

zydokommuna:

tchaikovskaya:

materassassino:

thehoff0204:

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/parking.png

a hero

2 seconds into this video w/o audio i INSTANTLY knew this was russia lmao

“You want to cut it off?”

“How else am I supposed to park?”

yellew:

slavery:

I like really small and tight cars makes me feel intimate with every passenger it’s very sexy to be in one with all the bros

a clown made this post

thexfiles:

thexfiles:

jeopardy being on netflix is the best thing to happen to me since luka modrić scored against argentina

attention lesbians and people over the age of 65 on this site: jeopardy is on netflix

spoopymafalda:

reginas-phalanges:

its the end of an era

He finally ate them guys

yawntyy:

trashtv0:

obiwhinekenobi:

mechalesbian:

calling ur dad “my father” is just the socially acceptable way of saying “my dads a bastard and i hate him”

Same goes for ‘My mother’

If you meet someone and they call their parents ‘father’ and ‘mother’ they either were raised in an Amish community or have absolute bastard parents

This or just call them by their first name

Calling parents by their first name either means you killed them and got away with it or are planning to

cricketsqueak:

elemeno-pee:

mitochondriaandbunnies:

Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ. Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room. Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.

Bringing back Long Ziti for another round because it’s just too funny

real life creepypasta

platypusinplaid:

this is THE funniest punchline I’ve ever seen